First Love- just the mention of it
brings smile on everyone’s face. No matter how old you are or what your
relation status is- everyone has experienced that sweet feeling. That first
fluttering, losing yourself head over heels for someone and being in the dreamland
whenever you got a chance. Love is such a strong emotion that cannot be
expressed in mere words but it is an experience that transforms us completely.
Few of us end up having lifetime relationship with that first love; whereas
most of us keep holding on to those memories forever. No matter how long you
have been married/single or have lost touch with your first love; there is
always a corner in your heart reserved for your first love.
I still remember when I had first
experienced that sweet unknown feeling which made me wonder what that feeling was. What to do with those thoughts that kept me occupied 24X7. Only one thing was clear at that time- keep it secret! Why? I don’t know or never knew at that
time. Everyone around me was falling in love and even though all of us were
trying to keep it as a top secret- our friends knew. That endless chatter
about our first crush kept us giggling all the time. And being part of the top most secret
mission meant everything.
Some of us were bold enough to
surrender to that wave of infatuation/first love and admitted to each other
that yes, it exists- I love you. No future plans, no money, no education,
nothing- just admitting that I am for you and you are for me. And everyone
dreamt to have such courage and mainly to get the response in return with the
same intensity which was surreal for one. Of course Bollywood helped our raging
hormones and demonstrated how this makes perfect sense and how there will be
happily ever after story for all the loving couples.
Yet there were heartfelt tragedies
for some of us- when the love was not entertained by the second party. Then there
was another drama to sympathize with such friend and show hope by painting
fantasy of finding someone even better. I remember one movie plot that the heroine
kept denying the proposal made by the hero and he kept asking her again and
again; then finally she agreed. So we believed in it that if there is NO first
time then of course there is hope that eventually that NO will turn into YES!
But sometimes after repetitive
attempts when one had to settle on eternal rejection; life got bitter to the
extent that, “No, I’m not falling in love ever again!” Which lasted only till
the next suitor came in the sight!
Then we parted from each other-
conventionally became grownups- met our life partners and started the version
of happily ever after. Yet after being in years of matured relationship; with
the boom of Orkut then Facebook there was a massive search of the long lost
first love. And then there was justification in the sane minds- “I’m just doing
that in friendly manner- I don’t/can’t possibly have that feeling now- it was
so long ago- it is practically just silliness of that age!” Well, who are we
fooling with that? And the history continues to repeat itself- that drama of
having the internal battle –well, he/she did love me at that time and what
would have happened if we had the courage to admit our feelings for each other at
that time? Yes, Bollywood has captured that too! And the saga continues- love
the sweet first love… It was there in the first place and it will be always
cherished ever- forever!!
