Can you hear your name when I’m
whispering it in my mind? Do you as well get lost in the memories of what only happened
in our minds? Whenever we meet; there’s so much anticipation and in reality we
act as if my presence doesn’t matter to you n you don’t exist for me in the
room.
Once in a while when the going gets
tough and mind wanders to find the solace; only you can provide that strength to
keep going. To accept the life as-is; to keep embracing the reality and return
back to the world that we’ve created for ourselves. The world where we don’t belong
to each other; our paths are not even parallel… our paths are just lost in the
Universe where we make sure that they never cross each other. And we move on
showing that it doesn’t matter; even stopped craving for that possibility.
And then suddenly someone mentions
your sickness, mere cold it was! Yet it’s sufficient to skip my heart bit. I would
frantically search online for remedies; just to fool myself that my worrying is
worth something! It’s that moment of realization, that when I disappear from
the face of earth; you won’t even be on the list for notification. You would
keep whispering my name silently and after few days/years someone will casually
mention, “Did you hear about her? Ah, you wouldn’t know… you barely met her. Has
it been 15-20 years? God, time flies by!“. You won’t be able to mourn openly;
will blame it on allergies!
Maybe then you would think, why
didn’t I express my feelings? What was it that stopped me from time-to-time? I created
all these restrictions for me, what if I had given her what she deserved to
hear, what I deserved to utter… What if we had allowed ourselves to dwell into
what was not there a little longer & what if…
