Unexpressed Love

Can you hear your name when I’m whispering it in my mind? Do you as well get lost in the memories of what only happened in our minds? Whenever we meet; there’s so much anticipation and in reality we act as if my presence doesn’t matter to you n you don’t exist for me in the room.

Once in a while when the going gets tough and mind wanders to find the solace; only you can provide that strength to keep going. To accept the life as-is; to keep embracing the reality and return back to the world that we’ve created for ourselves. The world where we don’t belong to each other; our paths are not even parallel… our paths are just lost in the Universe where we make sure that they never cross each other. And we move on showing that it doesn’t matter; even stopped craving for that possibility.

And then suddenly someone mentions your sickness, mere cold it was! Yet it’s sufficient to skip my heart bit. I would frantically search online for remedies; just to fool myself that my worrying is worth something! It’s that moment of realization, that when I disappear from the face of earth; you won’t even be on the list for notification. You would keep whispering my name silently and after few days/years someone will casually mention, “Did you hear about her? Ah, you wouldn’t know… you barely met her. Has it been 15-20 years? God, time flies by!“. You won’t be able to mourn openly; will blame it on allergies!

Maybe then you would think, why didn’t I express my feelings? What was it that stopped me from time-to-time? I created all these restrictions for me, what if I had given her what she deserved to hear, what I deserved to utter… What if we had allowed ourselves to dwell into what was not there a little longer & what if…