Pimple!

              It started as a harmless seeming pimple at the hard to explain place. Let your imagination run wild to imagine it and it was worse than that! So for couple of days Daisy pretended to ignore it. Since it was invisible to everyone around her; she was successful in denying its presence. However as it wouldn’t go away; it started demanding her attention. Soon enough all that she could think of was the pimple at that place which she couldn’t speak in public. The embarrassment (wait it was not even embarrassment at that time yet; but Daisy didn’t’ know) and throbbing pain made it difficult to deny its presence anymore.

              Daisy did the exact that any sane girl would do in such situation. Go to doctor; you would think? Nope, she discussed it with her best friend followed-by intensive online search based on the symptoms. If you had ever searched online for any symptom and it hadn’t led to possibility of cancer or life threatening condition; I am ready to reveal who shared this story with me! And even knowing that online search and so called doctors giving “free” advice on chat forums aren’t reliable; it did make Daisy to pick up the phone and make an appointment with real doctor.

              After a couple of days of wait finally she could meet her physician. One look at that nasty pimple at the place that no one talks about (read on Harry Potter themed – “the one whose name no one speaks of”); and doctor confirmed what online forum had suggested. Yes, Daisy was recommended to go directly to the ER and get admitted for general surgery. Although in pain Daisy was secretly enjoying the guilty pleasure of being in this situation. You would wonder; why? Remember when you were in school and you prayed to get sick during exams/or submissions? Now you can relate better- here Daisy the so-called grown up was dreading the upcoming deadline at work and had been secretly hoping that, “Oh God; please show some miracle and send me on medical leave of absence. Nothing serious please; just something which makes me skip work for some valid reason. So that I can finally get chance to binge watch and finish that last season of my favorite show!” She was delighted, finally her prayers were answered!

              Happily but without showing any remorse of happiness, she called up her family to inform that she has to undergo a surgery and won’t be able to call them for next couple hours(!). Her family was like that loving one in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”; so they had to know everything. Everyone rushed to the hospital to give her company in ER. That night if someone with real emergency would have walked in would have thought, “Oh no it seems so full! It is going to be such a long wait till I get checked out. Better to try different ER tonight.” As the hours passed by family members made themselves comfortable with vending machine coffee and old hospital jokes. Suddenly someone would remember why they were here in the first place and would ask Daisy if she needed anything from coffee to extra kidney! Daisy’s mom reminded them no drop of water is allowed in case Daisy has to go through general anesthesia. That made the scene even more melodramatic. And made Daisy really hungry and thirsty at the same time. Daisy was sure if the surgery won’t kill her; this hunger is surely going to put her in the dehydrated state.

              To get distracted from dreadful thoughts, Daisy used this time to send out emails to her supervisor, colleagues, janitor in the company and everyone who could have barely waved hello to her at work. She explained that she has to undergo emergency surgery and not sure how long she might be away from work, requesting coverage. And of course expressing how sorry she is feeling about the “bad” timing coinciding the deadline! As she was about to update her Facebook status for checking in the ER; nurse called her name. Suddenly so many people rushed to that nurse that that nurse got confused how can there be so many Daisy Washingtons at the same time! Daisy’s mom made her way pushing everyone aside with Daisy at one hand and one hand in the air. She announced everyone in the family as everyone in the next 50 yards that everyone has to wait outside! Only Daisy, her Mom, her Dad and her husband are going inside with her. Although her aunt, cousins, best friends wanted to accompany her inside; the nurse put her foot down. After saying the exaggerated goodbyes; it felt like the nurse was taking Daisy to her deathbed. Daisy started feeling the seriousness of the situation and her heart sank. “Ah, this could be the last time I am seeing annoying cousin Travis; and I never even got a chance to apologize to him. I didn’t get a chance to eat that last piece of apple pie seating in the fridge.” And so on & on… Does that happen to people who go through near death experience?              

              Before Daisy could start seeing that inviting bright light and enter into tunnel (at least that’s how people who came back to life explain it); nurse started taking her vitals and asking for insurance details. Then there was another long wait till doctor could see her. Another wave of text messages were exchanged informing everyone waiting outside about no update yet. Now the family members were texting about how such thing can happen at “the place that no one should speak of”. As Daisy was reading all that traffic; she felt like burying herself in her own grave!

              Now the doctor came with serious looks and went through the series of typical questions. Daisy was put into the hospital gown whose only intention is to make everything- read EVRYTHING visible from every angle! Now her mom, Dad and husband everyone was interested in taking a peek at what exactly has happened at that “place that no one should speak of”. In her vain efforts of hiding, she looked with merciful eyes to the attending nurse. Unfortunately she missed her signal completely and went on exposing it to the doctor as well as the waiting spectators! As Daisy heard her parents remarks as, “Ooh, that’s nasty. Wait where is it? ; What exactly we are looking at? Ah I can see it; how did it get in there? Daisy, darling I had told you to clean front-to-back; not otherwise!” she missed what doctor had to say. So as the doctor removed the gloves and started to go; she tried stopping him to ask so many questions. But by the time she could get into decent enough coverage possible with that hospital gown the doctor was already gone! She was so mad at her parents and wanted to start yelling; but she got shushed by the attending nurse reminding her of neighboring patients.

              Again after a long wait; the nurse came in with discharge papers! What, what just happened here? Nurse explained that, “Doctor just went over with you that there is nothing at this point that can be done here. If you WANT (like if you WANT we can add-on hot stone massage with your pedicure!), you can get started on antibiotics. Other than that just go home.” Daisy was so disappointed- no near death experience, no surgery, no down time, no pampering, nothing! But all that she got was her parents going over her toddlerhood lessons to her grown up version. Now Cousin Travis got yet another story that would be told over thanksgiving and all family dinners! Drama didn’t end there; she had to go back to her work and explain what happened to everyone that was on that email chain!! Now the deadline started glaring at her which was good enough for her to get the near death experience!

With such embarrassment even the pimple must have started shrinking on its own, as Daisy could barely sense any pain or its existence any more… Lame, lame pimple!