The Idea of You

    

    Last night, I watched “The Idea of You” movie, and it was difficult to process the movie's plot. For whoever has not seen this movie- the plot is about a young super handsome, kind-hearted, most famous singer of a popular band (can it get any more cliche?) who falls in love with a 40-some divorced mom of a teenage daughter! I agree that it seems as impossible as it sounds! But then you have to consider it was Anne Hathaway! Of course, anyone would fall for her!! The movie shows some realistic parts, as well as some of the expected exaggerated-near impossible parts happening in real life, but at the same time, satisfies the fantasy of romanticism. One can relate to her denying that someone can get attracted to her at that stage. When she is not feeling attractive or has nothing to offer but has baggage of hurt from the failed marriage, responsibilities, and uncertainties. Even after fighting her insecurities, how she must face all the public shame, risking her family through the attention of the paparazzi, and going back and forth of putting herself first as a woman and a mom, the struggle seems real. I don’t want to spoil the movie if you have not watched it and are planning to watch it, but the more realistic part of me could not fathom the happy ending.

If you were going through a broken marriage (either officially on paper or, as statistics say, separated under the same roof), someone showing you a glimpse of different aspects of life can be very alluring. When you don’t feel beautiful, when you accept that it will be all downhill hereon, someone genuinely paying attention to your likes/dislikes seems impossible. When you completely forget that your pictures should be captured, someone clicking your candid pictures feels quite overwhelming. When you have stopped nagging for the company and learned to explore on your own, convinced that you are not worth spending time with, your preference for random walks without a destination is a foolish way of spending a perfect afternoon where you should choose to stay inside and rest. Someone willingly accompanies you and comes along everywhere w/o questioning or showing resistance to why you are taking a stop here, how long you are going to stare at the mountains that are so monotonous(!) after a while, and just silently stays beside you, even meditates with you sharing the calm that was never felt before. When everyone around you has a different choice, and you keep choosing to go with the majority without voicing your preference, someone remembering your preference leads everyone to your choice.  How do you process that?  Is that even possible in reality? Should you admit to yourself that you were craving such attention or deny the existence of that tender feeling that was buried/forgotten for years? “The Idea of You” paints these possibilities and struggles of a woman going through a similar dilemma and living in the most romantic world that can only be imagined in the fictional realm.

Most women tend to shrug off, denying that they deserve, crave, and like feeling wanted. Special attention after a certain age and certain social identities of being a parent or spouse seems unacceptable (mostly) for women.  However, is there an age when one should stop feeling love? Why does every bond need to be defined? One can learn to cherish the love when it is presented through simple gestures. When the vibrational frequencies of two individuals align, they often experience a sense of attachment as they share a similar perspective on the universe. When you think about the concept of energy, everything is interconnected. The universe is filled with vibrations, and when you find a match, you feel a sense of belonging, which brings happiness. This is a spiritual experience that can lead to enlightenment. Won’t you like to cherish such sweet feelings to remember that it happened, you loved it, and admit the presence of that special bond rather than labeling it? It reminds me of Dr. Seuss's quote, “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened”.  Could it be that simple in reality than the climax of “The Idea of You”?

Most of us are careful not to use the most coveted four-lettered word, but we often choose “like” to express our feelings. I believe love is the most powerful force in nature. Einstein explained that we tend to ignore the existence of love because it is the only energy in the universe that humankind has not learned to drive at will. In the letter to his stepdaughter, he wrote,

“Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it.

Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others.

Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness. Love unfolds and reveals.

For love we live and die.”

When you love someone, you can forgive them. You learn to open your heart to receive and to let go. With love, we can attract abundance, as love knows no bounds. Love cannot be explained by logical reasoning; it is simply a feeling. Love cannot be restricted by age, gender, race, nationality, proximity, or any parameters. Love can heal almost anything with a simple expression of a lasting hug, delicately holding hands, or a peck on the cheek. Different times, different relations, and different moods summon different love languages. It is the most fulfilling experience to express love in words, actions, and even copulation. When yin and yang come together, it brings harmony to nature.  These two seemingly opposing forces complement each other, putting puzzle pieces together and completing a beautiful reunion. It can be a form of meditation that leads to enlightenment. It can bring us together, and form unity in diversity.  Imagine a world without judgment and labels but where everyone honors and embraces the presence of love; wouldn’t that be a wonderful synergy of peace?

Maybe the end of the movie -“The Idea of You” can be interpreted differently than my perception. Can it be that simple to embrace love and not just a fictional romance that seems unrealistic?